The Best Advice I Ever Gave Myself

The best advice I ever gave myself: 

“Just be excited about this moment.  Just focus on the good.  Don’t worry about what could go wrong – you don’t know until it happens, and it may not happen.  If or when something difficult arises, you can handle it.  You’ve got this.  Sometimes things can turn out better than you imagined.  You’ve gotten this far – who would have thought you’d be here today in this dream come true? 

Just be happy in the present and let the future take care of itself.”

I found this note to myself in a journal from four years ago.  I didn’t even remember writing it! 

At the time, I was in the middle of a huge life transition.  I was recently divorced, in the process of closing my family’s business, in a new job, and turning a decade long friendship into a relationship. 

When I decide to make a change in my life, it is never subtle, I’m either all in or all out.

Amid all this change, I was still in the process of waiting.  Nothing was fully finalized.  Everything was taking longer than I had imagined.  Day after day I’d get my hopes up and then I’d end up over-thinking and pushing myself into an anxiety spiral.  The highs were very high, but the lows were deeply low.

I knew in my heart these changes were the best outcome for everyone, however while in the middle, my vision still seemed a bit cloudy. 

I wanted my vision to become reality as quickly as I made the decision to 180 my life.  One day here, the next day gone.  I expected the rainbow to immediately follow the rainstorm. 

Unfortunately, life doesn’t work like this.  Yet it didn’t stop me from hoping for it.

This misguided hope (more like a wish) brought on anxiety whenever my new path did not seem linear.  Any time a part of it derailed from my well laid out plan, I’d worry that I had gotten it all wrong. 

Waiting is never a joyful, comfortable experience.  Anticipation, now that is exciting…  But having to wait takes time and allows your mind to question every decision you’ve made and every possible negative outcome. 

I’ll write more about the process of waiting next week, for now, I want to focus on listening to your truth.

Whenever negative thoughts creep in and fears arise, there is a deeper part of you that knows this isn’t true.  The deeper part is wise enough to know that your thoughts are trying to protect you the best way they know how, to elicit fear, but the fear is an illusion.  The fear is based on a future outcome that isn’t yet real and may never be.

Deep inside is the truth, your truth.  And that is what I think I finally accessed the day I gave myself this advice. 

To live in and for the present. 

To appreciate what I have today. 

To let go of the future which I cannot control, and let it unfold as it will. 

To remember all I’ve already gone through to get to where I am today. 

That is the miracle.  That is the accomplishment.  The end goal is merely a mile marker, as there is no finish line. 

I want to share this advice with you because I think it applies universally.  When you are still in the middle of a life change before your vision is realized, enjoy the place you’re in now.  Appreciate how far you’ve come.   

Remember when you were trying to figure out if you should make this big life decision?  I’m sure that was incredibly difficult.  But you locked in on what you wanted most and made the change. 

That is huge! 

Take a minute to give yourself credit.  You can do hard things.  You’ve already proven that to yourself.  You just need to remember.  Remember who you are, what you’ve done, and where you are going.  Then focus back in on today. 

Whatever comes your way, you’ve got it, you can handle it.  Don’t worry about it in advance.  Trust you will know what to do when the moment arises. 

Trust that the vision you laid out for yourself could end up better than you ever imagined. 

But in order to get there, you may have to take some unexpected detours.  It may take longer, a lot longer, than you thought. 

Nevertheless, as everyone says (and as cliché as it sounds) life is about the journey. 

Life happens when you’re open to new possibilities.  Life happens when you are content with today and hopeful about tomorrow.  Life happens while you’re waiting.

Allow life to flow through you instead of trying to force it down a specific, narrow path. 

It will all work out in the end.  I promise.

All you must do is appreciate today and trust in a better tomorrow. 

“Sometimes things can turn out better than you imagined.”