Feel Your Feelings: Anger

For many people, anger is a go-to emotion as it is easier (aka less vulnerable) to feel angry than it is to feel sad, disappointed, afraid, or hurt.  You may find yourself feeling angry, but unless you look deeper you’ll never find the root emotion. 

Anger can disguise or mask feelings you would rather keep hidden away… most often fear. 

When we are afraid we tend to lash out.  Stress or overwhelm are based in fear and some of us express those feelings by letting anger take the dominant role. 

Anger can make us feel certain.  It can make us feel that our actions are justified and correct.

Have you ever been angry and even though you know you should try to work through it, you just want to be angry for a while? 

Personally, I’ve experienced this and for most of my life it was completely subconscious.  I thought I wanted to move away from anger and into peace or contentment, but then one day when the angry thoughts just kept spiraling, I realized this was an active choice I was making. 

I wanted to be angry. 

I was not ready to let go yet. 

As long as you are not allowing your anger to negatively impact another person, then stew as long as you like! 

Ask for some space, be honest with whomever may attempt to interact with you and let them know you aren’t ready yet but will communicate once you are.

Your feelings are yours to feel.  We should not take them out on others, but there is nothing wrong in staying with an emotion longer to process through it. 

Don’t get me wrong, you do still need to process through your anger.  This is not a healthy emotion to hold onto for a long period of time.  It can hijack your energy and even go as far as making you physically sick.  So feel your anger for as long as you need, knowing the next step is to begin working past it.